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Monday, October 18, 2004
The Gift of Forgiveness
Teaching us how to pray, Jesus threw a curve ball when he got to forgiveness. Until then everything was sweetness and light. Faith, hope, love, trust -- the usual religious suspects.
Now, suddenly, comes a conditional promise: "Forgive us... as we forgive others." (Matthew 6:12)
Does he mean "since we forgive"? It's only fair for God to forgive us; we do it all the time. Sounds way too arrogant to me.
Maybe he means "the way we forgive"? Hmmm. That's scary, seeing all the ways we humans botch the job. E.g., Oscar Wilde once said, "Forgive people; it will drive them crazy." Others say, "I'll forgive, but I can never forget."
I get help by looking at this puzzling prayer from three angles:
1. The magnitude of our need to be forgiven: Two synonyms for "sin" show the extent of our responsibility to God. "Debts" are unpaid obligations, things we should do but leave undone. "Trespasses" are violated boundaries, doing things we shouldn't do.
Human nature loves a feud -- You owe me/us, and you're gonna pay! Israelis & Palestinians; Hatfields & McCoys; spoiled brats & black sheep. If God nursed grudges we'd all be dead meat. But God "does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities." (Psalm 103:10)
2. The majesty of being able to forgive: Someone said, "Any man can seek revenge; it takes a king or prince to grant a pardon." Holding a grudge or enforcing the law at all cost, diminishes us. Forgiving elevates and empowers us, sets us free. It gives up all claim on debts we could have collected.
Ironically, you lose everything in the transaction because you've reached a point where there's nothing to lose. And what's gained is worth the whole world. God did that when Jesus died (John 3:16). South Africa did it when they created the Truth and Reconciliation program. Face the facts, no shrugging allowed; accept forgiveness and begin a new way of living, as neighbors instead of enemies.
3. The mirror image in a forgiven forgiver: In the mirror of God's mercy I find a new sense of proportion. No offense against me measures up to my offenses against God. If God majors in forgiving me, how can I refuse to forgive you?
I also see a growing family resemblance in that mirror. Every time I forgive as God does, I become more like Jesus who shows us God in human skin. If we don't interfere with the process, it gets easier and easier to forgive when we're wronged.
Forgiveness is wonderfully contagious. When forgiven people pass it around the world is infected with open-handed mercy, freely given, freely received. It's not a dream, if Jesus really meant what he said.
I'm convinced he did.
posted by Jack Buckley at
10:09 AM
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