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Monday, November 22, 2004
For the Birds
My friend John was given a parrot. Turns out the bird had a bad attitude and a foul mouth. Rude, obnoxious, off-color to say the least.
John tried every which way to change the parrot's attitude. He spoke only the most polite language. He played strictly soothing music -- a lot of Celtic harp, soft guitars, Enya. Nothing worked.
Finally, John lost his cool. He screamed bloody murder at the parrot. When the bird yelled back, John shook it real hard. The parrot just got angrier and all the more obscene. At last, John grabbed it by the throat and threw it in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly, there was total silence. A minute passed without a peep, then two.
Afraid he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly walked out onto John's outstretched arms, looked him in the eye, and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude, unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the bird's change of attitude. Before he could ask the parrot why the sudden change, it continued, "Please, sir, may I just ask: What in the world did that turkey do?"
Happy Thanksgiving!
posted by Jack Buckley at
2:09 PM
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