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Wednesday, October 26, 2005
The Gospel of the Secret Pal
Seventy of us retreated last weekend to the Sonoma County redwood forest.
It was our church's tenth annual getaway to St. Dorothy's Rest, a lovely little hideaway that easily lives up to its name.
Kids had their own program of fun and learning; teens helped lead the kids' activities; we adults wrestled all weekend with the Parable of the Prodigal Son (you'll find it in Luke 15). All 70 got together several times to sing, play games, eat, and just plain hang out.
Can you say, "Aaaahhh"? Contented sighs and extreme grinning ruled.
Then there was the Secret Pal Thing.
Each of us drew a name, obligating us to spend the weekend anonymously attending to that person. A kind thought here, a little prayer there. Slip them a little gift or message when they're not looking. Or send it by a third party all too eager to aid and abet your mischievous mission.
The idea, of course, is to bless 'em by surprise. You're blessed, too, knowing your pal has to accept your kindness just as it is, no strings attached, with no idea where it came from.
That's all well and good. But on reflection I discover some interesting tension in this Secret Pal Thing.
1. Most obvious tension: You're always anonymous...
Your beneficiary mustn't know that you're the nice person doing all these nice things. The good feeling of doing good has to be enjoyed entirely on the sly, no praise allowed or expected.
2. Less obvious tension: Your pal is less than perfect...
You might notice that he talks too much and way too loud. Or that she tries too hard to be liked. Or, horrors, that your carefully chosen gift doesn't score very high on his applause meter.
3. Least obvious tension: You're role-playing God's way with the world...
Like the father in the Prodigal Son story, you've chosen to be generous to someone who may or may not appreciate what that costs you. Even so, you stick with the choice and hope for the best. It's not really about the other guy, but about your decision to bless him -- or her.
The Bible word for this is "grace." From that root we also get "gratitude."
How great a gift it is when someone recognizes unexpected, unearned generosity and says a hearty "Thank you!" And that gift keeps right on giving when that person graciously repeats the process, blessing another by surprise just for the joy of it.
See what you can do today to be a secret agent of God's grace in somebody's life. Go ahead, make their day!
posted by Jack Buckley at
4:31 PM
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